Once a month, I fall into a self-doubting backslide. And because Mother Nature has granted me such long periods (2-3 weeks), I have plenty of time to question all the advancements I've ever made.
Will I be able to have sex in a few weeks?
Will it hurt?
Will I be able to more forward or will it be a struggle just to not have pain?
Will I ever get to the point where I can enjoy sex?
Is this my fault?
Am I forever broken?
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why can't I just make love to my husband?
Why can't I feel anything good?
Will I ever orgasm? ...Do orgasms actually exist or is it just a cruel joke the whole world is playing on me?
It's as if the pain of being on my period is not enough. I have to wonder whether every day without sex is one more day of forgetting how to do everything I've learned.
I love my husband so much. He is my everything - my entire world.
Will the day ever come when I can truly enjoy this love without an asterick?
Sometimes I still feel like I'm 15...I have this huge crush on the most amazing guy and I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to have him like me back...to have him kiss me.
But I'm almost 26 years old and I'm MARRIED to the most amazing guy I've ever known. And he does love me back and he does kiss me. But I'm still wondering what it will be like when we can actually make love.
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