Step 1: Relax

Its been quite a while since I've checked back in. And a lot has happened. I'll list a few things below (leaving out school and work for now).

1) My grandfather passed away.  The weeks leading up to it, the funeral preparations, and now the grieving period have been extremely exhausting.  I miss him terribly and I don't quite feel like myself without him.

2) I haven't been able to have sex since getting pregnant.  There's a two week waiting period every time I got spotting in first trimester. And every time the two weeks were up...I'd get spotting again.

3) I'm officially 2nd Trimester!!!!! 16 weeks, baby!
- And almost to the two week date since my last spotting. So....getting ready to get back in the saddle.

Which brings me to my current thoughts....
They say second trimester is a good time for libido so now I just have to make sure nothing else is getting in the way. 

We've been cuddling a lot lately. May I suggest to the ladies out there struggling with the distance vaginismus can create in marriage to find something special (intimacy wise) to do for your hubby.  Its not that its only our responsibility to make intimacy happen.  Its just that sometimes we are so busy dealing with our own struggles, and empowering ourselves, that we forget to check back in with our hubbies.  I won't explain my methods here - but seriously...find something that works for you guys. It can be very simple.

The thing I'm trying to tackle now, in preparation for sex, is getting all these extra stressors out of the way - the school, work, life, family, etc. stressors which affect even my vaginal muscles.  I can't get back into things wound as tightly as I am now. So I need to find some ways to relax.  Right now, I don't have any sexual desire. But that doesn't mean I can't work on eliminating mental stress which is causing constant physical tension. 

So on to step 1: Relax.