So I had a bit of an epiphany today...I think I am one of those women who gets pelvic spasms throughout the day. As I was driving today, I tried doing some kegal exercises and I realized that I was very tight. Then while sitting on the couch studying, I realized that I was clenching "down there" for no reason. We aren't trying to have sex right now...my husband isn't even in the room. I'd really love for some medical researchers to do more looking into this problem. There seems to be so much involved....so many things that we don' even think about.
This may be what my doctor was trying to tell me when she first diagnosed me 3.5 years ago; she looked me straight in the eye and told me that I wasn't crazy or psychologically messed up. As I've worked on overcoming, I've struggled a lot with this. In my darker moments, I wonder how she could be right if it takes such "mental" power to overcome it. I mean if its not "all in my head" - then why can I fix it by using my head?
I think I understand now. These spasms...they can be so much more than a psychological response - so much more unintentional than a "fear" aversion or reaction. It can really be a physiologically problem - just like people get back spasms or headaches. I'm guessing it can very much be stress related, just like my jaw spasms when I'm anxious about things. In fact, perhaps the problem has nothing to do with any fear of sex, anxiety about pain (although I'm sure once the cycle starts...fear of pain is one of the first things to be layered on top). But just because the problem is physiologically, doesn't mean that the solution has to be (botox around my vagina does not appeal to me at all). Its really a testament to our AMAZING brains, our wonderous MENTAL STRENGTH....we are able to relax muscles that most people don't even give a moment's thought. That's pretty awesome in my book.
Thanks, Doc...it may have taken me 3+ years, but I get now what you were trying to say. Perhaps, if I hadn't been such a chicken, I could have just asked you myself...but maybe its better discovering it for myself.
Hi StillinLove! I've just started reading your blog, but you know me from the forum too (though I'm quite a bit more anonymous on the bigger wider internet).
ReplyDeleteAnyways - I love this epiphany you had! It makes so much sense to me... and I find myself thinking the same things. I sometimes consciously think about those muscles throughout the day and notice that they are tense as well. I'm trying to get better about thinking about it more often and keeping them relaxed - it's a work in progress, but it's getting better! The more I think about this and keep the relaxed, the easier things are getting (most of the time - you know how it goes). So thank you for this! :)